I'm definitely intrinsically motivated when it comes to art. I'm not lazy by nature but chronic illness muddies the waters for me.
I home educated my daughters and we very much followed self-led learning, which I think has led to both of them being quietly self assured, and wanting to continue following their own interests. It definitely suited their neurodivergent needs! (And became my special interest as a bonus!)
Oh wow, i’m so pleased you left this comment, thank you. I love hearing how well it has gone for your daughters taking the self-directed approach. Did you ever worry about veering from the curriculum or what kids would be learning at school, or did you always feel comfortable taking this approach? X
Yes absolutely worried but not too much as I kept an eye on curriculum and to be honest it's not that difficult to cover through everyday conversations and living if we're talking about primary. Plenty of opportunity for baking which covers so much maths, ratios, fractions etc etc. Hands on measuring for sewing, real world maths.
So much reading together, all sorts of group educational trips and really following interests in depth.
Secondary, one chose to go to secondary as she's very academic and wanted to try new things. She did very well, and had not missed anything we could spot. I think the only thing that came up was she didn't know some of the Christmas carols! 🤣 She has just finished her degree in history at Oxford.
My other daughter did the trial day at secondary and decided that home education was much better for her, she was involved in lots of groups and very much appreciated more time to explore her own creativity too. She did the GCSEs she wanted to and then did Alevels at a local 6th form and did well. She's deciding what's next.
I thoroughly recommend home education if you are able to.
I love hearing about the different home/schooling routes… thank you. And I love how you’ve let your daughters take the path that feels right for them. Xx
I am intrinsically motivated, introvert, autistic. I survived in a big corporate system for a decade but no one ever understood that their incentive system (valuing hours worked over everything) made no sense to me and I would never change my behavior to excel on those terms. I wanted to do good work and contribute to my team. I recently have switched to self-directed education for my six-year-old (loved A Different Way to Learn!) and am looking forward to helping him follow his interests to create a life that is meaningful to him. I suspect it will be healing for me as well.
So interesting… intrinsic motivation at work in a big corporation and valuing commitment over hours logged. I am totally with you. And I love that you are taking this approach with your son xx
Annie, you are exactly like me. Thank you for articulating it so beautifully. I do things that interest me, its almost pathological. Probably why im not a very good employee. No interest in pleasing the boss
I feel fortunate that I have always been intrinsically motivated. I am also highly introverted. I don’t do anything to impress other people or achieve status; I prefer to avoid the spotlight. But at the same time, I am successful in a few select realms, and the only one who knows it is me. That’s enough.
I love this post, Annie. Being told what to do and following orders in my entire childhood, I never knew what intrinsic motivation was. Healing over the past few years taught so much about me, when I learned about this. And the first thing that I was intrinsically motivated to do was write. And I’m here still writing for the past four years. And I have still so much to explore.
I'm a questioner, which made so much sense when I realised it. I can be highly motivated to do work and health-related things when I understand why I'm doing them, but was always so bad at homework when it felt pointless to me!
I’ve definitely had to relearn intrinsic motivation and it was very much tight together with not knowing what I truly want/desire/enjoy. Since becoming a mom and time ticking differently I as faced with this question of what brings me joy so immensely and combined with needing to be efficient in work and hobby, I went through a transformation and am now much more focused, dedicated and clearer on my why and what I am doing. And reading books such as “hunt, gather, parent” and “magical child” make me appreciate and aspire to home education and fostering intrinsic motivation in my children. It also ties in really well with lazy parenting because that’s truly my nature too haha. Could just sit by a river nymphing in the sun and dancing tree leaves all day
Highly recommend, especially the first is a funny read and very practical for our contemporary world whilst eye opening to our society. I found it even helpful in my work (I mentor ceremonialists in holding space and inner work), as it really outlines the importance of nervous system regulation and being a guide/ a leader of the wolf pack type (you know the memes where Wolf leaders walk at the back of the pack to make sure everyone finds their way) - anyway hope you enjoy!
Thanks for sharing this Annie! I was so passionate about developing intrinsic motivation in kids when I was a primary school teacher, because I figured that’s what’s going to keep them pursuing their interests and passions.
It’s great to be thinking this through as adults too - my brain is whirring. I think I am naturally extrinsically motivated, probably from feeling deeply insecure when I was a child/teenager (we moved countries every 2-3 years; amazing but very destabilising!). I’ve definitely had to work on my own intrinsic motivation…!
I’m intrinsically motivated which has generally served me well, but it’s a bit challenging in my current job as for the most part I don’t feel very fulfilled in the role/by the outcomes. I get praise for “jobs well done”, but that doesn’t mean much to me when I see limited value in those achievements. Definitely time to move on and I hope in the next 18 months to follow my passions and start my own business, that’ll certainly be a challenging adventure! In the meantime, I’m putting more focus and effort on the work elements where I feel like I make a difference to other people’s lives and that resonates much more with my intrinsic motivation. Onwards and upwards… 📈
I think for the intrinsically motivated, running your own business can be incredibly fulfilling and - if you really believe in the product/service - almost ‘easy’, because it fills you with so much energy. Lots of commitment and hard work, so not easy in that sense, but in terms of getting up each day and feeling so excited and clear and focused x
Yes, yes, yes!!! This speaks to me because I was homeschooled, and although I did follow a pretty standard curriculum, I didn't do any science for GCSE level. Why? Because I literally didn't understand a word of it 🤷🏼♀️ Now, if I had been in school I might have turned out to be a science nerd, but who knows? After GCSE's I spent a year doing a creative writing diploma and also studied natural horsemanship, because those were two of my special interests at the time. We started the school day with board games or 'music appreciation' (just listening to a classical CD) and only ever did schoolwork until lunchtime and then had the afternoons off. I'm also autistic & ADHD, so being able to have a *little* bit of control and say over what subjects I studied definitely helped. I also did my own research on topics that especially interested me - for example, I am academically terrible at History, because I can't recall specific dates of world events, but I loved learning about pre-Industrial Revolution Britain, so I did my own research on that.
I have seen, heard & read that neurodivergent folk (especially ADHD so it seems) have an "interest-based nervous system". This is so true!! I am realising that more and more as I get older.
I love this conversation so much, I have been typing a response for the past half hour, realising it turned into an essay…! 😁 So I might respond with one (motivation by accountability to finally post on substack ✔️)…
…but also quickly say, as I need to get ready to (motivated by urgency)…
1. You are NOT lazy! 🥰
2. Same! I would always sing, write, or ponder, philosophising the meaning of life (I sometimes feel we are twins 🫠)
3. There is more to motivation than intrinsic/extrinsic for ND brains— such a big discussion
4. Self-directed learning all the way 💪🏻 Montessori is our favourite
Enjoyed this. Self-directed education is my jam and something I still think loads about even though my kids are in school. I rely far more than I'd like on the praise of others to tell me how I feel about what I'm doing. But I'm trying to break out of that by doing things that I know I'm not naturally good at and focusing on having fun rather than on doing them perfectly.
I'm definitely intrinsically motivated when it comes to art. I'm not lazy by nature but chronic illness muddies the waters for me.
I home educated my daughters and we very much followed self-led learning, which I think has led to both of them being quietly self assured, and wanting to continue following their own interests. It definitely suited their neurodivergent needs! (And became my special interest as a bonus!)
Oh wow, i’m so pleased you left this comment, thank you. I love hearing how well it has gone for your daughters taking the self-directed approach. Did you ever worry about veering from the curriculum or what kids would be learning at school, or did you always feel comfortable taking this approach? X
Yes absolutely worried but not too much as I kept an eye on curriculum and to be honest it's not that difficult to cover through everyday conversations and living if we're talking about primary. Plenty of opportunity for baking which covers so much maths, ratios, fractions etc etc. Hands on measuring for sewing, real world maths.
So much reading together, all sorts of group educational trips and really following interests in depth.
Secondary, one chose to go to secondary as she's very academic and wanted to try new things. She did very well, and had not missed anything we could spot. I think the only thing that came up was she didn't know some of the Christmas carols! 🤣 She has just finished her degree in history at Oxford.
My other daughter did the trial day at secondary and decided that home education was much better for her, she was involved in lots of groups and very much appreciated more time to explore her own creativity too. She did the GCSEs she wanted to and then did Alevels at a local 6th form and did well. She's deciding what's next.
I thoroughly recommend home education if you are able to.
I love hearing about the different home/schooling routes… thank you. And I love how you’ve let your daughters take the path that feels right for them. Xx
Thank you! I hope you find a happy path for your son too x
I am intrinsically motivated, introvert, autistic. I survived in a big corporate system for a decade but no one ever understood that their incentive system (valuing hours worked over everything) made no sense to me and I would never change my behavior to excel on those terms. I wanted to do good work and contribute to my team. I recently have switched to self-directed education for my six-year-old (loved A Different Way to Learn!) and am looking forward to helping him follow his interests to create a life that is meaningful to him. I suspect it will be healing for me as well.
So interesting… intrinsic motivation at work in a big corporation and valuing commitment over hours logged. I am totally with you. And I love that you are taking this approach with your son xx
Annie, you are exactly like me. Thank you for articulating it so beautifully. I do things that interest me, its almost pathological. Probably why im not a very good employee. No interest in pleasing the boss
Ooh yes, makes sense that us self-employed people have intrinsic motivation x
I feel fortunate that I have always been intrinsically motivated. I am also highly introverted. I don’t do anything to impress other people or achieve status; I prefer to avoid the spotlight. But at the same time, I am successful in a few select realms, and the only one who knows it is me. That’s enough.
I do wonder if there is something around introversion/shyness that feeds into this…?
I’m convinced there’s a correlation.
I love this post, Annie. Being told what to do and following orders in my entire childhood, I never knew what intrinsic motivation was. Healing over the past few years taught so much about me, when I learned about this. And the first thing that I was intrinsically motivated to do was write. And I’m here still writing for the past four years. And I have still so much to explore.
Wow, I love that you have now found writing x
This really reminds me of Gretchen Rubin's Four Tendencies: are you an Upholder??
I had totally forgotten about that… I loved that book. And yes, I think I was an upholder. Are you? X
I'm a questioner, which made so much sense when I realised it. I can be highly motivated to do work and health-related things when I understand why I'm doing them, but was always so bad at homework when it felt pointless to me!
oh yes - I remember speaking about this before... And Ezra is the same? x
I’ve definitely had to relearn intrinsic motivation and it was very much tight together with not knowing what I truly want/desire/enjoy. Since becoming a mom and time ticking differently I as faced with this question of what brings me joy so immensely and combined with needing to be efficient in work and hobby, I went through a transformation and am now much more focused, dedicated and clearer on my why and what I am doing. And reading books such as “hunt, gather, parent” and “magical child” make me appreciate and aspire to home education and fostering intrinsic motivation in my children. It also ties in really well with lazy parenting because that’s truly my nature too haha. Could just sit by a river nymphing in the sun and dancing tree leaves all day
I don’t know those books, thank you for sharing x
Highly recommend, especially the first is a funny read and very practical for our contemporary world whilst eye opening to our society. I found it even helpful in my work (I mentor ceremonialists in holding space and inner work), as it really outlines the importance of nervous system regulation and being a guide/ a leader of the wolf pack type (you know the memes where Wolf leaders walk at the back of the pack to make sure everyone finds their way) - anyway hope you enjoy!
Thanks for sharing this Annie! I was so passionate about developing intrinsic motivation in kids when I was a primary school teacher, because I figured that’s what’s going to keep them pursuing their interests and passions.
It’s great to be thinking this through as adults too - my brain is whirring. I think I am naturally extrinsically motivated, probably from feeling deeply insecure when I was a child/teenager (we moved countries every 2-3 years; amazing but very destabilising!). I’ve definitely had to work on my own intrinsic motivation…!
That’s so amazing that it felt important to you to do that, as a primary teacher x
I’m intrinsically motivated which has generally served me well, but it’s a bit challenging in my current job as for the most part I don’t feel very fulfilled in the role/by the outcomes. I get praise for “jobs well done”, but that doesn’t mean much to me when I see limited value in those achievements. Definitely time to move on and I hope in the next 18 months to follow my passions and start my own business, that’ll certainly be a challenging adventure! In the meantime, I’m putting more focus and effort on the work elements where I feel like I make a difference to other people’s lives and that resonates much more with my intrinsic motivation. Onwards and upwards… 📈
I think for the intrinsically motivated, running your own business can be incredibly fulfilling and - if you really believe in the product/service - almost ‘easy’, because it fills you with so much energy. Lots of commitment and hard work, so not easy in that sense, but in terms of getting up each day and feeling so excited and clear and focused x
Yes, yes, yes!!! This speaks to me because I was homeschooled, and although I did follow a pretty standard curriculum, I didn't do any science for GCSE level. Why? Because I literally didn't understand a word of it 🤷🏼♀️ Now, if I had been in school I might have turned out to be a science nerd, but who knows? After GCSE's I spent a year doing a creative writing diploma and also studied natural horsemanship, because those were two of my special interests at the time. We started the school day with board games or 'music appreciation' (just listening to a classical CD) and only ever did schoolwork until lunchtime and then had the afternoons off. I'm also autistic & ADHD, so being able to have a *little* bit of control and say over what subjects I studied definitely helped. I also did my own research on topics that especially interested me - for example, I am academically terrible at History, because I can't recall specific dates of world events, but I loved learning about pre-Industrial Revolution Britain, so I did my own research on that.
I have seen, heard & read that neurodivergent folk (especially ADHD so it seems) have an "interest-based nervous system". This is so true!! I am realising that more and more as I get older.
This is fascinating. I love hearing about different types of education and yours sounds like it was wonderful x
Trust me, there were plenty of not-so-great things about it too!! 😁
I love this conversation so much, I have been typing a response for the past half hour, realising it turned into an essay…! 😁 So I might respond with one (motivation by accountability to finally post on substack ✔️)…
…but also quickly say, as I need to get ready to (motivated by urgency)…
1. You are NOT lazy! 🥰
2. Same! I would always sing, write, or ponder, philosophising the meaning of life (I sometimes feel we are twins 🫠)
3. There is more to motivation than intrinsic/extrinsic for ND brains— such a big discussion
4. Self-directed learning all the way 💪🏻 Montessori is our favourite
5. You’re amazing
Love xxm
Enjoyed this. Self-directed education is my jam and something I still think loads about even though my kids are in school. I rely far more than I'd like on the praise of others to tell me how I feel about what I'm doing. But I'm trying to break out of that by doing things that I know I'm not naturally good at and focusing on having fun rather than on doing them perfectly.