An exploration of introversion, extroversion, shyness, people who need collaboration to motivate them vs those who don't - and the scientific study I'd like to see happen.
Ohhh I love this piece. Working with publishers, as I am at the minute, I'm on their time, working with a team, and I LOVE it - for a period. But after a few months, I really crave going back to my way of doing things, not relying on other people to get things done. I get very frustrated when I want to make progress on something, and close the loop on it, but I'm waiting for feedback or a piece of information from someone else.
WIth authors, I do enjoy the *occasional* call (I try to do 2 a month as a max), but prefer working with people in an asynchronous way. I'll work on an in-depth piece of work for them, and then we communicate over email. I'm also a big time boxer, and this lets me time box when I'm going to do those emails, while fitting in other stuff.
I do definitely aim to get some kind of connection on most work days, but like you, I won't invite people over in case they won't leave!! Always happy to go somewhere else for a coffee, and love a walk with an end time, haha.
I really love the metaphor of motherhood being an ink in water. Such a beautiful and painfully accurate way to describe it. I also love to work alone, the phrase "teamwork" sends shudders down my spine. Nice to read these comments are realise I'm not the only one! X
Love this. I''m officially an extrovert according to Myers Briggs but low on the scale and I definitely recharge away from others. Maybe extroverted introvert! Outgoing with my people but shy in big bustling small-talk groups; solo worker with bits of quality collaboration; time boxer 100%. I'm all-in for 4 hours of the day and then that's me done! We are contradictory as humans!
yesss! LOVE THIS. Four-hour work day is so cool. I'm inspired. I tend to have six hours, three days a week - the idea of actually committing to four hours and having two hours, each work day, 'free' feels incredibly liberating - and potentially more productive. Thank you x
I LOVE this. Your description of wanting a little hint of collaboration/connection but struggling to hold boundaries with it is spot on. Also, I just read ‘Matrescence’ by Lucy Jones and she outlines the way our brains actually change irreversibly after becoming mothers. And there is so little research into how this impacts us but it most definitely does. So it may be our personality/shyness does shift due to brain chemisty. So interesting! Thank you for sharing your experience.x
I haven’t read that book yet… But it makes so much sense that our brains would change. Time for the research to be carried out, there’s a pretty big pool of women who could be part of it x
Loved reading this, it was so full of thought provoking things! Firstly, on a prosaic note, I realised I didn't actually know what time boxing is so this prompted me to look it up - and I'm definitely going to give it a try. Do you use any particular software, or just your calendar? Mostly though I want to thank you for making me think. I do love being around other people, but find it quite tiring (especially groups). I think I love to learn with others (and from others!), but work alone. Autonomy is one of my prime career values, so working alone is a good idea for me - having flexibility and control over my work is not optional for my wellbeing.
I should have included a little explanation about what time boxing is, thank you for telling me this. I love that you are clear on what kind of work supports your wellbeing. X
Cramming and time-boxing all the way for me. I have private musing where I'm sat in a room, without a window that opens up out onto the ocean, and me alone with a laptop, a notebook and time to think and create. I indulge in this reverie now and again knowing full well I'd start twitching after a couple of hours as i'm not used to a life without varying amounts of chaos, drama or interruptions.
This is great Annie. Since our last big chat about work I’ve managed to cancel all of those weekly meetings that drove me mad, because I just want to do the work! Or not - ha! But I very much am the same as you, I want to knuckle down and just crack on. Fire through my work when I have the opportunity. Feels much more satisfactory and productive now.
Well done! So good to have that conversation. I reckon a lot of other people think it but feel worried about saying it, and end up in lots of meetings that aren’t necessary. Xx
We really time boxed our chat today - was so lovely to meet you Annie. I think I am introvert/extrovert - I love being with people and enjoy working in teams but also love being ALONE and need to be alone. I think working in teams or leading teams in house works well for me, as a freelancer I'm not so sure and might find it more awkward with less defined roles (the type of roles that come from working in a company).
Loved reading this Annie….. a 10pm call or an hour of free and easy chat without a subject or purpose would be hell to me! I mostly love working alone with mini collab’s along the way. (Always clearly defined and short!) I get bursts of creative energy from working with coaching clients.I guess the one thing I miss is learning alongside other women. Getting stuck into a topic of interest and exploring it together or writing about a topic and then sharing the different angles or perspectives we each took.
Ohhh I love this piece. Working with publishers, as I am at the minute, I'm on their time, working with a team, and I LOVE it - for a period. But after a few months, I really crave going back to my way of doing things, not relying on other people to get things done. I get very frustrated when I want to make progress on something, and close the loop on it, but I'm waiting for feedback or a piece of information from someone else.
WIth authors, I do enjoy the *occasional* call (I try to do 2 a month as a max), but prefer working with people in an asynchronous way. I'll work on an in-depth piece of work for them, and then we communicate over email. I'm also a big time boxer, and this lets me time box when I'm going to do those emails, while fitting in other stuff.
I do definitely aim to get some kind of connection on most work days, but like you, I won't invite people over in case they won't leave!! Always happy to go somewhere else for a coffee, and love a walk with an end time, haha.
I AM YOU. Hear you on the calls, and those collaborative projects... for a period. But going over deadline, waiting waiting waiting... too much. Ax
I really love the metaphor of motherhood being an ink in water. Such a beautiful and painfully accurate way to describe it. I also love to work alone, the phrase "teamwork" sends shudders down my spine. Nice to read these comments are realise I'm not the only one! X
Thank you. I’m with you on ‘team work’ x
Love this. I''m officially an extrovert according to Myers Briggs but low on the scale and I definitely recharge away from others. Maybe extroverted introvert! Outgoing with my people but shy in big bustling small-talk groups; solo worker with bits of quality collaboration; time boxer 100%. I'm all-in for 4 hours of the day and then that's me done! We are contradictory as humans!
yesss! LOVE THIS. Four-hour work day is so cool. I'm inspired. I tend to have six hours, three days a week - the idea of actually committing to four hours and having two hours, each work day, 'free' feels incredibly liberating - and potentially more productive. Thank you x
I LOVE this. Your description of wanting a little hint of collaboration/connection but struggling to hold boundaries with it is spot on. Also, I just read ‘Matrescence’ by Lucy Jones and she outlines the way our brains actually change irreversibly after becoming mothers. And there is so little research into how this impacts us but it most definitely does. So it may be our personality/shyness does shift due to brain chemisty. So interesting! Thank you for sharing your experience.x
I haven’t read that book yet… But it makes so much sense that our brains would change. Time for the research to be carried out, there’s a pretty big pool of women who could be part of it x
Loved reading this, it was so full of thought provoking things! Firstly, on a prosaic note, I realised I didn't actually know what time boxing is so this prompted me to look it up - and I'm definitely going to give it a try. Do you use any particular software, or just your calendar? Mostly though I want to thank you for making me think. I do love being around other people, but find it quite tiring (especially groups). I think I love to learn with others (and from others!), but work alone. Autonomy is one of my prime career values, so working alone is a good idea for me - having flexibility and control over my work is not optional for my wellbeing.
I should have included a little explanation about what time boxing is, thank you for telling me this. I love that you are clear on what kind of work supports your wellbeing. X
Cramming and time-boxing all the way for me. I have private musing where I'm sat in a room, without a window that opens up out onto the ocean, and me alone with a laptop, a notebook and time to think and create. I indulge in this reverie now and again knowing full well I'd start twitching after a couple of hours as i'm not used to a life without varying amounts of chaos, drama or interruptions.
Our nervous systems are primed for interruptions! X
This is great Annie. Since our last big chat about work I’ve managed to cancel all of those weekly meetings that drove me mad, because I just want to do the work! Or not - ha! But I very much am the same as you, I want to knuckle down and just crack on. Fire through my work when I have the opportunity. Feels much more satisfactory and productive now.
Well done! So good to have that conversation. I reckon a lot of other people think it but feel worried about saying it, and end up in lots of meetings that aren’t necessary. Xx
We really time boxed our chat today - was so lovely to meet you Annie. I think I am introvert/extrovert - I love being with people and enjoy working in teams but also love being ALONE and need to be alone. I think working in teams or leading teams in house works well for me, as a freelancer I'm not so sure and might find it more awkward with less defined roles (the type of roles that come from working in a company).
Oh yes, that does make sense… working in-house, with a team, would naturally be more boundaried with start and end times, etc x
Loved reading this Annie….. a 10pm call or an hour of free and easy chat without a subject or purpose would be hell to me! I mostly love working alone with mini collab’s along the way. (Always clearly defined and short!) I get bursts of creative energy from working with coaching clients.I guess the one thing I miss is learning alongside other women. Getting stuck into a topic of interest and exploring it together or writing about a topic and then sharing the different angles or perspectives we each took.