We need to lean in differently now
It's not about being like the men and taking our place at the table, it's about being like the women and allowing ourselves to be held. The men are already doing it.
When Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In was published, I was in my 20s, child-free and working in a corporate environment.
It was perfect for me.
I took my seat at the table, quite literally.
And embarrassingly.
As I was a lowly copywriter and not on the management team, so I had to swiftly slide out of that seat because my boss wanted to sit in it.
On Sandberg’s advice, I asked for several increases on my day rate so that by the time I left, in 2014, I was on £250/day, having started at £120.
When I became pregnant, I decided - à la Sandberg - that I’d return to work in the office after three months.
My male line manager kindly suggested I might like to have the baby and see how I felt before committing.
Really, he shouldn’t have said that because we should be living in a time when the father (or other parent) of the baby can also contribute to parenting.
So that the mother can return to work, if she wants and needs.
If, for instance, she is the higher earner which, at that time, I was.
But it was HR who cancelled my contract in the end, not that line manager.
When those twats said my contract would be terminated, I leaned in again and negotiated a pay rise that enabled me to save £10,000.
This supplemented the £500/month maternity allowance I’d receive from the Government and gave me time and space to work out my next career steps.
And it all worked out wonderfully, because that job was like Ground Hog Day and if I had gone back after my baby, and was still there now, a decade on, I’d be depressed.
Instead, I get to write books, essays and articles, from home, try new things, work with different editors and generally, do work that feels more fulfilling.
But.
We need to return to this idea of ‘leaning in’ and think about it differently, now.