Why haven't I told you this already?

The weekly essays I write centre around my work-life and home-life and yet I've made a glaring omission. I'm here to tell you what it is.

When I went to sign the contract for my first book deal, I asked my editor to take a photo (a boomerang, actually: a wiggly photo-slash-video), in the swanky office I was sat in, surrounded by previously published books.

I was quick to share that photo on social media, because: I had a book deal. The second best thing about getting a book deal is telling everyone you got a book deal. You have been validated, and you want to spread that validation further.

Look at me in my hot pink trousers and baby blue blouse [odd combo] signing a blimmin’ book deal with an amazing publisher, high up, with a splendid view of London. Now, do you see me? Now, do you see I’m doing something with my life? Now, do you like me?

It’s sad, really, when you think about it. Our need for validation. Our desire to have our ego stroked not just by the people who have the power, but by the community who might care, or at least notice, that the people with the power think we matter.

I’d previously shouted (on the internet) about the digital magazine I’d launched. Every article I’d written for local, regional and national news. The celebrity interviews I’d done. I’d written blog posts and poetry and never shied away from sharing it.

It’s not just me. Everyone I know who works at least partly online - or uses social media to grow a community that they hope might be interested in their books, articles, online courses etc - shares their ‘wins’ online. And I’m here for it.

But these past few months, I’ve been working on a project I feel prouder of than anything I’ve ever done and yet somehow, I’ve failed to mention it. Maybe it’s because it doesn’t fit into the above brackets. Maybe it’s because it’s a different path.

Maybe it’s because this, for some reason, feels boastful. Even though all of it is boasting, really.

My secret project