What a rainy party taught me about hope

It was a kids’ party. It was properly raining. It was brilliant.

I read something this week about the importance of having realistic expectations and I can’t stop thinking about it.

In fact, I can’t stop disagreeing with it, in my head.

I researched the power of positive thinking extensively for my book, Raise your SQ.

And learned about neuroplasticity (‘a process that involves adaptive structural and functional changes to the brain’).

The takeaway was that consciously thinking positive thoughts re-wires your brain and makes you more receptive to new opportunities.

Opportunities that might be missed if you don’t believe it’ll ever happen, because negative thoughts can create a literal mental block.

So my general feeling about having realistic expectations is that this might stunt your growth.

Especially if we’re talking about the creative industries and earning a living from art.

As an example, I shared recently that I’d love the paperback version of my book to become a Sunday Times bestseller.

The dream has slightly shape-shifted since then. And I’m saving the details for the course I’m currently running on ‘how to make that dream come true’.

But it’s a good example of what I’m talking about here, as only 1% of authors get on that list.

So a realistic expectation would be that I’m never going to get on that list.

However, you’ve got to believe there’s a chance of you achieving something in order to keep pushing for it.

If you look at the statistical chances of anything creative, it might put you off.

And if you don’t try, you definitely won’t succeed.

So instead, I’d urge you to look at all the times that someone has succeeded in the area you want to succeed in.

Focus on the chance that it might happen, rather than the chance that it won’t.

The reason I continue to earn a living as a writer, is because I sent my intention on achieving that. It didn’t just drop into my lap, I’ve worked for it.

And then I continue to believe, even during times when it feels rocky or precarious, because I want to keep working in this way.

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The rainy party

It was my daughter’s friend’s birthday yesterday and her parents arranged a party in the park by their school.

The plan was to all gather, straight after school, and play games outside.

Only, all morning it was pouring with rain.

There was no update in the class Whatsapp, so I messaged the mum directly.

Such shit weather, what are you thinking?

She responded saying: it’s clearing up now, we’ll give it a shot.

So we poured into the park - the whole class, plus siblings - and the adults had a glass of Prosecco, while the kids played.

There were footballs, music to dance to, a scavenger hunt, trees to climb. The kids were giddy and smily; the parents were in small groups, chatting.

The sun came out.

And then it disappeared and it started raining. We pull up our hoods and stayed put. It cleared. The sun came out again. It disappeared again. And on, for an hour or so.

When it rained more heavily, some of us moved towards the huge oak trees for shelter. Others just stood in the rain, unperturbed.

After an hour or so, my younger two children wanted to go home. I asked the eldest if she was ready to go and she said: no way. I’m not going.

She was smiling as she said it but the translation was: I’m having too good-a-time to leave.

I asked her friend’s dad if he’d mind her walking back with him and he said that was fine, so we left the older kids to it and I went home with my sons.

That party could have easily been cancelled, as the weather forecast did predict rain. It had been raining all morning and there was a 60% chance it would continue.

But the mother decided that the 40% chance it wouldn’t rain made it worth trying. And that even if it did rain, that might be ok.

It was. It was fun. The kids were loving it. I’m so glad that they didn’t cancel it.

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If we don’t give something a go, we never know whether it might have worked out just fine. Or even better: if it could be a huge turning point in our lives.

Achieving anything requires:

• An intention.

• A solid plan.

• Bloody hard work.

• Perseverance.

• Sometimes, finding a back door.

• And - most importantly - HOPE.

Annie x