Was I being provocative, or just honest?

Sometimes, telling your truth hurts other people's feelings. But should you stop being honest, for that reason, or just accept it may cause friction?

Women are meant to be nice at all times. Girls, too.

Never loud, never brash, never opinionated (unless the opinion matches that of the person they’re in conversation with).

And for many years, I was that girl. Quiet, compliant, inoffensive.

But as I reached adulthood and realised there were glaring inequalities (initially, gender. Later, I learnt about intersectional feminism), I started to raise my voice.

People didn’t like it. Especially not men. I was too much.

I continued to speak my truth - our truth - because it needed to be aired.

When I became a mother, I became vocal about maternity discrimination and other ways women are discriminated against after having a baby.

But one area I’ve not quite managed to nail is how to speak my truth without worrying about how it will make other women feel.

In terms of women losing their job because they’ve given birth, there is clearly no argument: the employer is in the wrong and should be penalised.

But what about when no one is in the wrong, they just make different decisions, or work in a different way, and feel affronted by your choices or boundary-setting?

Let me explain

When I left London two years ago to move to Somerset, one friend was really digging for my ‘why’ and so I shared one of the main reasons, knowing it might offend her.