This could change your life.

A coaching exercise rooted in a spiritual practice that I often return to. And every time I do, I feel my energy rise and my smile widen.

I feel like the word ‘gratitude’ has slightly cheesy connotations these days. You pop into Waterstones and see a pastel pink gratitude journal, targeted at women, telling you about the importance of gratitude and how to journal it out.

But the reason there’s a market for these journals is because gratitude matters. Across all religions, you’ll hear notes on gratitude. About not just constantly reaching and striving for more but instead, looking at what you have already and being appreciative.

In the pandemic, like most people, I felt scared and I felt I couldn’t protect my children in the way I wanted to. However, I couldn’t change what was going on; I could only learn how to cope with it.

I developed a gratitude practice of writing a list every night before bed about things that I felt grateful for that day.

Often, I repeated myself but I really felt into those things I was listing.

I didn’t just reel off: husband, kids etc. If I did put my husband on the list, I would close my eyes and think about him and all that he does for me and our family, I would really visualise him and the good feeling I get from being with him.

Likewise my children and things like the money I was earning from my business.

I found this gratitude listing helped me to stay focused on all that was right in my life rather than feeling anxious about all that was wrong.

It didn’t remove the anxiety - that lingered in the background - but it meant that my day-to-day felt more buoyant and fun.

Now, I’m all about striving for more, too – see this ‘what I want’ exercise – but being clear on what you already have, and the value in it, matters too.

Not just from a ‘positive psychology’ perspective (for those not familiar, positive psychology is the scientific study of what makes life most worth living. So it’s looking for the good; the stuff that helps us, as we move through life).

But also, because being clear on what you already have - and have achieved - shows you that you are capable. At one point, you probably wanted much of what you have now. So having a gratitude practice can be a form of reflection.

So the first part of this gratitude exercise is about returning to your beginnings and making your way forward, to where you are now. And showing yourself all that you’ve achieved.

Gratitude exercise part 1.

Get a pen and paper and make a list of everything you have succeeded at, from birth up to now.

Take your time.

And remember that this doesn’t all have to be around education and accolades, it can be about risks you’ve taken, relationships you’ve developed and learnt from, journeys you’ve been on.

You might reflect on how you overcame challenges. How hard you worked on something. And the ways you’ve succeeded.

There are some things you probably won’t feel grateful for – trauma and grief, for example – but that’s not the focus here.

For today, we are looking at all the stuff you can appreciate as having been a worthwhile part of your journey so far. All the things that have led you to where you’re at now, and so the things you’ve done that you feel grateful to yourself for.

Once you’ve made this list, I’d like you to close your eyes and say – out loud:

I’m grateful to past me, for getting me here, to where I am now.

Now, it’s about focusing on the present.

Gratitude exercise part 2.

What, today, is good in your life?

You might think about:

• people

• place

• work

• surroundings

• the big stuff.

And also the minute details: fresh air coming through an open window if it’s a hot day or pulling on woollen socks when the temperature drops.

The more I think about what I’m grateful for, the more I notice the good stuff. And I note it down in on my phone, things like:

• Folded crisps. Those properly crunchy crisps that have folded over in the preparation processed and crack, so satisfyingly, as you bite into them.

• Crunchy leaves. In autumn, mostly. That you step on and both feel and hear that amazing crunch.

• Pulling on new cotton socks.

• A freshly-made bed.

And then, as I notice these things, I think about what I can do now, for future me.

Like change the sheets, or hang out the laundry.

And when I get into that freshly-made bed or walk past the empty laundry basket, I feel grateful to myself for the gift I gave myself, by doing that thing.

I then become grateful for things happening around me every day, as well as for things I’ve set up for myself, as a treat or favour.

Going forward, if you keep gratitude in mind, see if you notice more good things happening to you, and around you.

It’s not necessarily that more good stuff is happening, it’s that your eyes are more open to it.

Here are some questions for you to ponder or journal with:

• How do you feel, having listed all that you’ve achieved?

• How does it feel to focus on the good stuff?

• How could you incorporate more positive thinking and gratitude into your every day?

• Is there someone you could share your thoughts with, who might like to join you in this positive reflection and gratitude?

• What one thing can you do, right now, that your future self will thank you for?

Love,

Annie

Ps. This is an excerpt from my latest non-fiction book Raise your SQ: Transform your life with spiritual intelligence. It’s full of coaching exercises, as well as spiritual tools and practices that you can incorporate into your life for more joy, purpose and meaning.