The seven pillars of happiness
Once these seven areas are covered, you will have a greater chance of lasting happiness.
It’s 3.55pm on a Sunday and I’ve decided to make taramasalata.
I’ve never done it before but one of my greatest food memories was a family lunch hosted by a caterer who made this delicious creamy taramasalata and I’ve spent the past 20+ years thinking about it.
We’re in the car, coming home from the beach, and I dash into Waitrose (the only supermarket nearby) to buy cod’s roe.
Unfortunately, after much dashing around the fish aisle, I discover they don’t sell it. I pick up a ready-made pot instead and head to the self-checkout.
On the way there, I pass through the magazine section and see a copy of Psychologies. An extract of my book is due to be included at some point, so I take a copy in case this is the one.
Turns out it is. And that extract has become part of a 10-page feature. I’m named as an ‘expert’, my book is mentioned several times and my ‘7-day dream life plan’ has become a double-page spread.
It’s exciting, seeing the feature. It always is. And I’m grateful to have been included here. Especially as I’m keen to get back into doing more coaching, alongside my writing (which has taken centre-stage so far this year).
But I notice that the excitement, while definitely there, isn’t what it once might have been.
When I was first featured in a newspaper (the Guardian), I was elated. The feeling of having achieved some measure of ‘success’ lingered long after I’d found my name and face on the page.
But the more bylines, features and mentions I received; the more fleeting the ‘elation’ became.
I’d see it, have a moment of joy and then move on.
I realised, in time, that while career success is very important to me, it will not bring me lasting happiness.
The revelation
This morning, I was talking about this with my husband, Rich, as he read the feature in Psychologies.
I said that if I look at some of what has happened over the past 10 years, I realise that I’ve had so many career dreams come true.
I’ve written, as a journalist, for every newspaper and magazine I love; I’ve had books published; I’ve run a business that boomed and was able to support our family of five for a couple of years; I’ve been recognised as a ‘poet’ and I’ve coached thousands of women (one-to-one, groups and through courses).
It’s lovely to reflect on this and to see what can happen when you work hard and remain determined.
There have also been lots of late nights and sacrifices.
I remembered recently that my first commission from the Guardian arrived in my inbox as I was setting off for a funeral. I spent the service shifting in my seat, having agreed to deliver the copy later that same day.
But while these career achievements deserve a moment of self-recognition and pride, they will not bring lasting happiness.
Rich and I spend a significant portion of our morning-coffee-drinking time discussing happiness and the meaning of life.
And we make regular changes to our routine in order to feel better.
We read non-fiction books and share our learnings, listen to podcasts, engage with social media and the news to see what other people are saying.
Together, we have come up with what we believe to be the seven pillars of happiness.