Overwhelmed? These three mantras will help
I could feel myself slipping into overwhelm: too much to do, not enough time to do it all. And then I came up with three mantras to help me through the stress
The week before Christmas, I decided to take my family away for the night, for a change of scenery.
I managed to get a last-minute booking and within 30 minutes, we were in the blustery countryside, with a view of Glastonbury Tor.
I ran into the farm shop five minutes before it closed and filled my basket with delicious cheeses and crackers, chilli jam, pickles, local beer and cider, fruit, eggs, fresh bread and honey.
The evening was relaxing - we watched telly and all had an early night - and in the morning, the five of us swam in an otherwise empty swimming pool.
It was just what I needed: somewhere different to the home I’d spent far too much time in, while homeschooling, working and looking after the children through illness.
We packed up and headed into Glastonbury town for a wander and to spot some witches and magicians. I bought a candle for the kitchen table.
But soon, the kids were nagging me to buy them stuff. One wanted a toy; another wanted a gemstone but couldn’t choose which one.
We were days away from Christmas and I snapped. I said I wasn’t going to buy them anything, as they’d soon be getting presents from Father Christmas.
Everyone was in a grump - including me - and I felt like our lovely night away had been ruined by visiting those shops and all the demands for me to buy things.
I sat in the car and started mentally listing everything I needed to do before Christmas:
Clean the house
Make the beds for our guests
Wrap presents
Sort the food
Think ahead to NYE and having more family stay
Suddenly, I felt completely overwhelmed and like I wanted to cry.
And yet, really, all was well. Nothing terrible had happened. I could make it through the to-do list. And my husband was there to help.
I told him that I felt really overwhelmed, and that I couldn’t remember the last time I had been alone.
He said: when we get home, I will take the kids out, and you can have some time for yourself.
We got back and I went and lay on my bed, under the duvet, in silence. He got the kids ready to go into town.
I lay there for about 20 minutes, doing nothing, and then, once everyone had left, I got up and did some cleaning.
I started sorting through my daughter’s room, which was absolutely teaming with ornaments and art work she has created and little figures.
It needed to be reduced before we moved house.
As I sorted through and realised about half of it could be recycled, some needed to go in the bin and the rest could be ordered differently, I started to feel lighter.
What felt like a big challenge had been broken down by just starting.
Or perhaps, while there were much bigger things going on that I didn’t feel were in my control (more on that in a moment), this was something I could control.
I listened to one of Oprah’s SuperSoul podcast episodes.
Then I did 30 minutes of Pilates in my room, listening to Mo Gawdat’s Happiness course.
As he talked about what happiness is, and how we can achieve it, as well as what unhappiness is, my mind started to calm.
I’d bought that online course a few weeks earlier, because it was on sale and I’d been feeling a bit ‘off’. But I then started to feel ok and so I’d left it sitting in my inbox.
However, in that period of overwhelm, after our night away, I was feeling unhappy and it was really nice to have someone instructing me on how to feel happy again.
I knew that the overwhelm and unhappiness were temporary, but when you’re in it, it can feel completely all-consuming.
The bigger challenge
Really, it wasn’t the lead-up to Christmas and my children’s demands causing the overwhelm, it was the bigger picture.
We had a plan to relocate (again) just after Christmas, a new neurodivergence journey and the pressure to find a ‘solution’ for one of our children being deeply unhappy.
(Note: often, we blame small niggles for our overwhelm when actually, there’s something bigger - possibly underlying - at play. It’s always worth zooming out.)
But all I could deal with was what was right in front of me: the Christmas holidays.
So I decided to create three mantras to see me through the Christmas period.
And I think they may also be useful in these early January weeks, for anyone who’s feeling overwhelmed rather than positive, hopeful and focused on 2024 goals.