Before having children, I worked tirelessly to secure myself paid work as a writer.
Eventually, it happened.
I became a full-time copywriter - writing about films, as well as Cadbury chocolate, Butterkist popcorn and other sweet food brands.
But - as I’ve shared many times before - my contract was terminated when I had my first baby.
I’m an optimist and always believe there is another - probably better - path for you when one comes to an end.
And as happens, I ended up becoming the freelance journalist and author I’d always dreamed of becoming.
If I’d still been a full-time copywriter, I wouldn’t have had the time to write articles and books, as well as raise my children.
So, losing my job created an exciting new career path; a path I’d always wanted to be on.
However, there remained - remains - a challenge: motherhood.
This was always my first priority; the thing I wanted most.
It doesn’t feel very cool to admit that in these times of ‘female empowerment’ and ‘choice’ but it’s the truth, nonetheless.
And so while motherhood made me think more creatively about my work-life - and for that, I’m so thankful - there are undeniable barriers.
In my article on launching a six-figure business in a year, I ended it by saying that the clearer your work focus, the more successful you will be.
And I stand by that.
The clearer you are on what you’re doing, the clearer others are on what you’re doing (and so you spring to mind when they’re looking to hire someone who does that thing).
Also, the narrower the focus of your work (and niche), the more energy you will put into doing that One Thing.
And where energy goes; energy flows.
The issue is that for some of us, our ‘dream’ work doesn’t pay well. At least not initially.
Journalism requires a lot of pitching to get published and yet ‘being published’ will bring you not much more than £100 for an online article, maybe £500 if it’s in print.
It varies, but that’s a basic fee expectation.
So to earn a living from that, you need to be securing a good few print commissions every month and unless you’re a staff writer, that doesn’t often happen.
What do you do to make up the money? Copywriting. Create online courses. Consultancy. Coaching.
Maybe you set up your own business, and do journalism on the side.
But can you see what’s happening here? Your focus has shifted away from you want to be doing because you need to make money.
And yet running a business - selling products or services b2c (business to consumer) - needs all of you.
I grew a successful business by focusing all of my ‘work’ energy into that business.
Except when I took a month off to write my second book, Shy, when my third baby was still sleepy and placated with a quick foot-rock of his bouncer.
And in that month, I made no sales. It didn’t matter, as the months before and after were good ones, but when my focus left the business, for just a month, it affected sales.
By this point, my husband was working with me and we needed the business, as it was our only regular source of income for our family.
Also, it was fun. We were having a good time working together and sharing the childcare and domestic duties. And earning good money.
But when I said earlier that motherhood creates barriers, what I meant is that motherhood takes one part of your focus.
A big part.
It requires a huge amount of time, energy, commitment and planning.
Unlike a business, motherhood can’t be shelved for a month while you write a book.
And so with ‘motherhood’ taking a big chunk of your time, you need to then do your ‘money work’ - and where does that leave your ‘passion work’?
I’ve spent the past year trying to work it all out. And then, on a shamanic journey (meditation), I met one of my archetypes.
The idea with this particular session was that I’d meet my inner medicine woman. So I’d learn what I’m here to do, my ‘medicine’ being what I offer to the world.
The woman that I met on the first shamanic journey was big and muscly, and she seemed so serene. It was me, really, but in a different-looking body.
I asked her what her medicine was (what she was here to do) and she held out her hands.
It must be a sign that I’m meant to do some kind of healing with my hands, I thought, and started to look into massage courses.
I signed up to do reiki level two training but while I enjoyed the training, I quickly realised it wasn’t what I want to be doing professionally.
Another of the versions of myself I met on the training had no face, and simply said: you are here to write; that is your medicine.
And the third had this wild energy (I do not have wild energy), so I’m keeping her in my mind, but don’t quite understand her yet.
That big burly woman, though - who seemed so serene - I stopped thinking about her.
And then, while away on holiday, a few things must’ve clicked into place, as they often do when the pressure is off.
Because I got home, cracked open a beer with my husband and suddenly the answer DROPPED.
In the most sudden, clear way I understood the message from that journey, and how it related to the ‘money work’ I’m supposed to be doing.
Here’s what I realised (and how you can make your own money/passion work plans)…