It’s time for a new relationship.

This is the era of courting myself.

At Maison Bertaux on a Monday morning

I spend my late teens plucking my eyebrows into a one-hair-thin line, waxing my bikini line and legs, and using questionable methods to make myself looked tanned. (Read: orange.)

It’s all about looking a certain way so that girls will respect me and boys will want to be my boyfriend. I get a little bit of both, though…