I feel sad that I didn't listen to my heart

Why it's not always easy to follow your instincts and hear your intuition, especially if you're a mother prioritising her children's needs.

I have a very busy mind. Thoughts whirl and swirl and multiply and then swiftly fly off.

It’s why I constantly have a list of around 10 reminders in my phone, often quite detailed ones: things I need to do, ideas, thoughts, plans.

Including things like: write a musical. Write a book of motherhood essays. Write short stories about love (starting with one set in Croatia).

I don’t trust myself to remember these dreams.

I also set reminders to back up the meetings I have in my Google calendar, in case I forget to check the calendar or swipe away the ‘30-minutes to go’ reminder.

What my busy mind means is that I don’t sit still for very long. So if I’m feeling a certain way - sad, panicked - I’ll soon be distracted.

I’m also very optimistic.

In the hardest of situations, I will desperately search for a solution, believing that if I search hard enough, it will materialise.

Right now, I’m in the midst of advocating for my neurodivergent child: filling out 50-page forms for support and having three-hour meetings with ‘experts’.

I don’t know what the solution is, yet, but the aim is: happy, calm child. And I’ll do whatever it takes for us to get there. We will get there.

In fact, moving back to London this year, after two years in Somerset, was triggered by needing more schooling options for my three kids and their different needs.

The sad realisation